Jai Japan - #12 - “Can you introduce me to a Japanese girlfriend?”
Written and shared by Mia Horiguchi
I’ve been getting messages like this more and more often.
“Can you introduce me to a Japanese girlfriend?”
“I want to live in Japan. If I marry a Japanese person, it will be easier right?”
Every time I read something like this, I honestly pause for a moment. Because I feel people are mixing two completely different things. Love for a country… and love for a person.
Japan is a beautiful country. I understand why so many people want to live here. The culture, the order, the lifestyle, even the quietness of daily life. I’ve lived here long enough to understand that feeling deeply.
But marrying someone is not a “shortcut” to live in Japan.
And a Japanese partner is not a “key” to unlock your dream life here. That mindset can be very risky.
Because when your main goal is “living in Japan”, you may start to look at people not as individuals, but as solutions. And that is where misunderstandings, disappointment, and even emotional damage can happen on both sides.
A relationship built on convenience or migration goals will always feel unstable. Love becomes unclear. Expectations become heavy. And reality becomes painful.
I also want to be honest here.
When people message me asking to “introduce a Japanese girlfriend”, I feel uncomfortable. Not angry at the person, but at the mindset behind it. Because it reduces human connection into something transactional. A real relationship doesn’t start from “I want to live in Japan”. It starts from “I genuinely like you as a person, regardless of country, visa, or lifestyle.”
If you truly love Japan, the better path is to build your own foundation here. Learn the language. Understand the culture. Create your own value. Then naturally, your life here will open up in many ways, including relationships.
But if your goal is only Japan, and you force relationships into that goal… you are not only risking your future, you are also involving another person in something they did not sign up for.
Japan is not a prize.
A Japanese partner is not a bridge.
Both are human, not tools.
And I think this is something worth thinking deeply about.
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Written and shared by Mia Horiguchi
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